Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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