Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
