It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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