Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The Olympian is in my bed
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
