I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
