The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How external is "for external use only"?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
