i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
