can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
