Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
