smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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