So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
