Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
