worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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