great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
