got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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