he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
