a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
