On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
