she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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