my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
