Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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