I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
