i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
