Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
