hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
