Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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