At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
