I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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