and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
