i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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