hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
