He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
