I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
