clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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