Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
