lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
