Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
