yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
