Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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