Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
