He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
