I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
