He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
