Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
