you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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