do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
