what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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