My room smells like vodka and shame
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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