She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
