Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
